The Truth Behind The Pain
by Oni Kitsune
Summary: See Intro for full summary. When it's all over, what happens? Will Sora and Riku leave their destructive relationships for each other?
1. Intro

Oni Kitsune:  
  
Ok, I know that most people are going to skip over this just because it's an intro to the story and not many people actually care to read such things, but I suggest that you read this, otherwise you will end up with a scare or two.... ^_^() This will be as quick as possible because not even I like to do stupid silly long intros...  
  
The story is gonna take place after all the upcoming stuff (AKA Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories and Kingdom Hearts 2), but will visit a world or two in the first game. This story will be done on a song per chapter basis. I don't own any of the songs. I'll give credit where it's due per chapter.  
  
I don't own any of the Kingdom Hearts characters or copyrights which probably is a good thing for people who do not appreciate gay situations.   
  
This story is going to be Shounen Ai (boy's love) and Shoujo Ai (girl's love), and if the story takes me to or the readers ask, there may be some yaoi (malexmale sexual situations) and or yuri (femalexfemale sexual situations). I haven't decided yet which is totally unlike me. There will be some straight stuff in later chapters. If I do put that stuff in it, I will leave a link to the written out parts since there is no NC-17 rating here and I don't want to deal with people getting pissy and erasing this story since I'm putting in the effort and time to write this.  
  
Also in the beginning any sexual encounters will just be mentioned and not written out. Beginnings aren't meant for sex. If I do write out yaoi scenes they will be in later chapters after a period of time has passed because I don't believe in a "Oh I love you, Oh I love you too" confession and then fuck like bunnies.   
  
That doesn't happen in real life, it doesn't happen in my stories.  
  
This story is going to be long and very planned out and may seem confusing, so I'm passing out seatbelts and such for those who need them. This story is not for the young. If you're disturbed by the contents, I suggest you don't read.  
  
All relations to each other are as they stood in the beginning of the game with the exception of the triangle between Riku, Sora and Kairi. The triangle doesn't exist. And neither does anything between the FF chars.  
  
The pairings are starting out as SoraxSquall, RikuxSephirothxCloud, YuffiexAerith. These pairings will eventually change.  
  
Also the chars will be slightly out of character, but where else can you do something like that but in fanfiction? I will update once every week. If I do it more than once a week, yay.  
  
Well that's the main warning and intro, so on to Chapter One. 


	2. You Look So Fine

I do not own the song "You Look So Fine", Garbage does. *sobs quietly*  
  
Chapter One: You Look So Fine  
  
You look so fine  
  
I want to break your heart  
  
And give you mine  
  
You're taking me over  
  
Squall shuffled along the golden sands of Destiny Islands. He and a few others had returned to Destiny Islands with Sora. All the time he had known Sora, Sora had babbled on and on about the beauty and happiness that seemed to exude from the islands and water that surrounded it. But when they had returned the island was a shell of what it had been.  
  
Debris was scattered along the shores where wooden structures had been built and larger gnarled pieces stuck out of the shallow water to arch up like ugly torn fingers at the sky. Sora had been infuriated.  
  
Squall had been the only one to come back with Sora and felt the boy's pain. He in turn had helped the younger boy slowly restore the island. It looked almost as good as Sora had described it.  
  
In all the time it took them to rebuild it and make it what it used to be the two had begun to become closer. Squall would notice Sora's curiosity about him and his young attempts at trying to become closer to the older male.  
  
It's so insane  
  
You've got me tethered and chained  
  
I hear your name  
  
And I'm falling over  
  
After the first year of bringing the island back to its original beauty Sora made his first move.  
  
Squall had just finished rebuilding the bridge between the main shore and the small circular outcropping of land when Sora had approached him with a bottle of water from the waterfall and a couple of sandwiches. Squall smiled and accepted the offering before settling on the shoreline.  
  
It was a hot day and he had removed his shirt, his muscular frame flecked with sweat. His boots with the socks stuffed into them sat neglected beside his shirt next to the shack. He looked out over the waters while Sora, who had copied Squall's moves and sat in only his red bodysuit, settled beside him to observe Squall and his seeming interest in the water.  
  
"Do you ever regret it all?" Squall asked suddenly.  
  
Sora looked thoughtful as he pondered the man's words. "Yeah, sometimes I wish that none of it had happened... that the heartless had never existed, that the rivalry between Riku and hadn't been so desperate for Kairi's attention. That the darkness had never formed... But then if it hadn't, I'd never have met you."  
  
I'm not like all the other girls  
  
I can't take it like the other girls  
  
I won't share it like the other girls  
  
That you used to know   
  
Squall had mulled over the younger male's words for nearly a month while Sora continued to do little things for him, like bring him meals and drinks when he mentioned wanting one or the other. He would also always make sure Squall was set for the night with everything necessary when they would go to sleep under the night sky staring at the stars that sprinkled the deep velvety blue.  
  
It was just such a night that they laid down under a palm, looking up and over the stars that Squall decided to broach the topic with Sora. They were each tucked into a sleeping bag with a blanket over that and just watching the water lap at the shoreline not even ten meters away while the stars twinkled in a sort of dance above their heads.  
  
"Sora… I was curious about something…"  
  
"Hm?" Sora asked quietly, sleep buzzing the back of his brain. He turned his head to face Squall who was a foot away.  
  
"Sora, how do you feel about guys in general?" Squall sucked in a breath as he looked at the other boy. He watched his eyes to judge his true feelings when he spoke.  
  
Sora blushed lightly at the question and smiled to himself. "I like them, I mean I am one after all."  
  
"I know that… I mean like… Do you like them in a relationship sense?"  
  
Sora thought about that. "Well I do like two in a relationship sense, but I know for sure I can never be with one of them because it's doubtful I ever see him again…"  
  
Squall nodded. He thought he had sensed something to Sora's urgency to wanting to find Riku, but this confirmed it. Initially he had brushed it off as the brunette's desperation for his life long best friend's comfort, but it seemed that he had indeed felt something more for the white haired boy.  
  
"…and the other… I don't know if he sees me the way I see him." Sora blushed softly.  
  
"What's this other guy like?"  
  
Sora smiled. "I think you know."  
  
Squall nodded. "So if I said that this other is interested in what you're thinking…?"  
  
Sora beamed and in a matter of moments had scampered free of his bedding to hug Squall tight. Squall smiled softly and held him gently, one hand on the small of Sora's back to keep him close, the other pressing Sora's head onto his shoulder to be like a cradle.  
  
You look so fine  
  
Knocked down  
  
Cried out  
  
Been down just to find out  
  
It was another month before the island was completely restored and the few survivors had returned. Squall and Sora were officially a couple, though they had never consummated it. Squall would occasionally attempt an advance but Sora would back away with a couple of excuses, leaving Squall to himself and his imagination and hand.  
  
Slowly though, Sora would make small moves, letting Squall touch him and he touch Squall, though not going past heavy kissing and touching. It was during one such event that Sora pulled back and Squall's patience broke.  
  
Sora was lying flat on their bed, his body being pressed into the mattress by Squall's weight. Both were naked and moaning deeply as their tongues clashed together in each other's mouths. Squall's hand stealthily slipped down the younger boy's belly and under his back, then under hips and to his entrance.  
  
Upon feeling this Sora broke the kiss and pushed Squall away gently while backing up on the bed from him. Squall moved back up to him and began his same advances while Sora squeaked and tried to move away.  
  
"Come on Sora… it's been over a month already… I want to show you how much I love you… just let me…"  
  
Sora shook his head. "I'm just not ready. I can't do this… Please don't make me." Sora pleaded, guilt and fear washing over his features.  
  
Squall sighed and nodded, moving off of the other boy and padding across the room to the bathroom.  
  
Sora pulled his knees up to his chin and listened as Squall moaned gently and grunted occasionally. Almost 15 minutes later Squall reappeared, looking a little bit flushed and relieved. Sora looked up at him.  
  
"I'm sorry Squall, I honestly am… I just… It doesn't seem right to do it yet… I mean when Riku and I-"  
  
"Riku and you?" Squall asked, one eyebrow flying up in question.  
  
Sora stammered. He hadn't meant to ever tell Squall this. "I… Well, it's… I…"  
  
Squall went and sat in front of Sora. He took his lover's hands and looked him in the eye. "Sora, did you and Riku ever…?"  
  
Sora looked away and nodded.  
  
Squall opened his mouth wordlessly, then closed it, lost for words. He took a deep breath and then spoke what first came to mind. "So you weren't looking for just a friend when I met you?"  
  
Sora shook his head.  
  
"Were you two… still… whatever when we came back, essentially?"  
  
Sora shook his head.  
  
Squall paused for a long moment before asking "How long was it before you and Riku first…?"  
  
"Only a week."  
  
He heard Squall get up and dress, but didn't move to stop him when he heard Squall open the bedroom door and walk out, then the front door slamming. He finally fell over onto his pillow and sobbed hard, able to smell Squall in the bed sheets and pillow, his scent deep and musky.  
  
I'm through  
  
Bleeding for you  
  
I'm open wide  
  
I want to take you home  
  
We'll waste some time  
  
You're the only one for me  
  
You look so fine  
  
I'm like the desert tonight  
  
Leave her behind  
  
If you want to show me  
  
Squall didn't come home for a week. He kept low and some even thought he had left the island. But when he returned, Sora was all over him, begging forgiveness and making promises to him Squall brushed it all off and didn't speak to him for almost 3 days. When he did speak though, it was to make sure Sora understood where they stood.  
  
"Sora, I love you. I have for a while now, but I can't just stick around if you're going to toy with me. I accept that you aren't a virgin. That doesn't even bother me in the slightest. What bothers me is you jerking me around for a month and acting like a damn virgin without a clue.  
  
"You mean a lot to me and when you start doing all those little things you like to use to turn me on, I sometimes lose it and just want to take you. But I can't keep yo-yoing around after you. Either you want to be with and want me to touch you and make love to you, or you just want me as a shield from being alone since your first is locked up on another world. I'm not trying to be cruel, but damnit Sora pick."  
  
Sora trembled slightly and fell into Squall's arms. "I want to be with you, completely."  
  
Squall placed a hand on Sora's shoulder. "I don't want to make love tonight. But I want to later on this week. That way you have some time to say goodbye to Riku."  
  
I'm not like all the other girls  
  
I won't take it like the other girls  
  
I won't fake it like the other girls  
  
That you used to know  
  
You're taking me over  
  
Over and over  
  
I'm falling over  
  
Over and over  
  
You're taking me over  
  
Later that week as planned Squall set up a romantic dinner and set up the perfect setting for their first time. He did everything he had learned Sora loved and Sora melted to him. It was the first in a long line of passionate nights for them. Except that one Squall's side, it was love, and Sora's just passion.  
  
Little did Sora know that the experiences would lead to the change of a life time of Squall's personality. Sora himself began having these dreams that Riku was on his way home. That Riku wanted to be with him and was going to be with him again.  
  
Sora never mentioned the dreams to Squall, and that may have proved his advantage in the beginning.  
  
Because when Riku would return, they would need all the advantages they could get against the group that would be at their heels.  
  
(Drown in me one more time)  
  
(Hide inside me tonight)  
  
(Do what you want to do)  
  
(Just pretend happy end)  
  
(Let me know let it show)  
  
(Ending with letting go)  
  
(Ending with letting go)  
  
(Ending with letting go)  
  
(Let's pretend happy end)  
  
(Let's pretend happy end)  
  
(Let's pretend happy end)  
  
(Let's pretend happy end) 


End file.
